Clan Kids

Where kids imaginations run wild…

Demise of a Three Legged Mouse

on August 24, 2011

It had been a peaceful quiet night in the clan McMillian household. The clan kids were nestled in their beds dreaming of whatever might bring joy to their little hearts.  Clyde No Bottom and I were enjoying our time together by watching a movie. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something scamper across my kitchen floor. 

I see you...

Now I could have calmly turned to Clyde and told him about the mouse, but honestly when women see a mouse their first instinct is to jump onto the closest piece of furniture and pray the tiny creature gets nowhere near them, while screaming at the top of their lungs for help that they really don’t need. Luckily for me the mouse was in a different room, for the moment, so my reaction was a tiny bit more subtle.

“Holy crap Clyde I just saw a mouse in the kitchen!!!” I yelled as I move my legs from the coofee table they were propped up on to under my butt. Now if  I had reacted in hysterics Clyde might have hopped up and saved me from the little beast invading my kitchen instead all I got was… “Are you sure?”

I looked at him like all ‘Are YOU serious!? ‘, then firmly nodded my head. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Well it’s too late to go out for traps now. Buy some tomorrow and I will set them up.” I agreed and we went to bed.

It was a restless night for me. Every sound in the house made me think the little pest was coming for me, plotting on how to scare me to death. Have you seen that movie Mousehunt? The mouse in it was devilishly clever and alway up to no good. In my head this little devil was the equivelent. I tried to think of something, anything, besides the mouse but my thoughts always returned to it finding a way to get under our bed covers and nibbling on my toes. It sure as hell didn’t help that Clyde would run his toes up my leg or his fingers up my back to make it feel like a mouse. Sometimes he can be so childish…but it was funny.

I can still see you...

The next morning I precariously walked through the kitchen keeping my eyes peeled for the little fur ball. Every time my work pants brushed the top of my foot as assumed it was the mouse, and I was ready to do battle. The little nuisanse didn’t make an appearance. Thank goodness for that. If the clan kids had seen him they would have wanted to keep him as a pet to play with. Anyway I bought the traps and Clyde set them up after the clan kids went to bed. Afterall we were trying to catch a mouse, not a childs toe or finger. In case you are wondering, yes the clan kids are old enough to know better than to stick their hand or foot in a mouse trap, but that has yet to stop any kid I know from doing something…unfortunate.

At 1 a.m. I woke to the sound of squealing and a clapping of something against the tile floor in the kitchen. Praise the Lord, we caught the mouse!! And with that thoughht I feel back asleep. A few mintues or so later Clyde woke up to the sound. “What is that noise?”

“Oh we caught the mouse, go back to sleep. We can deal with it in the morning.” I mumbled, still mostly asleep.

“Why is it making that noise? It should be dead. I can’t sleep with all that noise it’s making.” Clyde persisted and got out of bed. I was nowhere near as curious as Clyde was to see why the mouse was still making noise so I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. If my man was brave enough to venture into a dark kitchen with unknown horrors that might await him I could at least lay in bed awake to make sure everything was okay.

“It’s not dead.” Clyde proclaimed. So I of course got out of bed to investigate for my self and concur with his prognosis. Sure enough the poor little thing was alive and trying with all his might to get away from the trap. It’s shoulder was the only thing caught in our monsterous trap. “We have to kill it.” Clyde stated. I wholeheartedly agreed that we now had to put it out of its misery. Though I was of a different mind in how to do the deed.

“I’ll get the BB gun and shoot it.” Clyde said. My response: “You are going to shoot it!? In the house!?”

“You go get a box or something to put it in.” Clyde stated. While I was busy Clyde used another trap to kill the poor little mouse.

“Good, now it is dead. You don’t have to shoot it.” I was relieved, until Clyde responded with “It’s still twitching. I want to make sure it’s dead.” Clyde picked up his BB gun and stared down at the dead, but still twitching mouse. He then looked at me and smiled. “You want to shoot it?”

“No.” I answered. “Why not?” Clyde asked, sincerely curious as to why I would not want the honor of killing an already dead mouse. “Because it is 1:30 in the morning, I’m tired, and I want to go back to bed. Also I can barely see without my glasses, I’ll end up shooting you in the foot (which would have made another awesome post, damn…I should have shot him…I mean the mouse, not my man.)

“Maybe I should wake Bean Pole up and have him shoot the mouse…” Clyde considered.  I let out a sigh, “If you are going to shoot it then do it. No one else needs to be bothered with it.” I replied. “Fine.” Clyde said. He pumped up the gun, aimed at the dead and now not twitching mouse, and pulled the trigger. The was a loud pop then silence. Clyde stood staring at the mouses corpse. “I think I missed.”

“How could you miss that!?” I asked, clearly dumbfounded by his statement. Thinking back on it now I realize that maybe Clyde just wanted another excuse to shoot his gun in the house. Without answering me, Clyde pumped up the BB gun again, aimed again, and shot the corpse once more. This time he knelt down to inspect the dead mouse. “Okay I got him, he’s dead.” This time I took his word for it and stayed away.

“It’s a good thing I got up to see what was going on. Eventually that mouse would have gotten out of that trap. Then we would have had a 3 legged mouse running through the house.”

The nights since have returned to their peacefulness, but you know the rule about pests. Be it a mouse, cockroach, or any other…where there is one, there are thousands…

I would not be smiling if I were her...

Do you have a mouse story? I want to hear it. Post in the comments or hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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2 responses to “Demise of a Three Legged Mouse

  1. Phantomimic says:

    We once had a mouse in the house and my grandfather placed a mouse trap. Next day we inspected it and saw the mouse caught by the tail, but it was motionless. We poked it with a stick and it did not move. We figured out it was dead and when we lifted the bar the mouse took off and darted behind the kitchen counter, it had played possum on us!

  2. dawarden says:

    Good story-I liked it!!!

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